She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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