That's intense
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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