I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
are you so shy because you have an std?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
