Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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