I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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