I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
