i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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