Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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