He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
