yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
