Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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