How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
