Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
