that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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