I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
