I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
