remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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