fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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