Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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