Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
