I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
