There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
