I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
