i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
