No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
