She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
