We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
