508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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