brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I didn't notice because vodka
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
