trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
