This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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