Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Randomize
