I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
