Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
