a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
soo... how was my night?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
