Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
