peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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