I heard we made out
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
