ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
