shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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