Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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