i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
