i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
