Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
