you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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