He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My life is pants optional.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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