why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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