The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
