I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I forgot how hot balto sounded
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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