Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
