Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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